Kids can be hell, but also heaven, and ‘for better, for worse’ ought to apply.

When I worked with young people in the UK, all the research showed that those who’d been taken into care were less likely to achieve, more likely to become young parents, and likely to mirror the behaviour they’d received with their children.

Dumping your kid may relieve you of the immediate problem, but it may be more than one life you’re affecting permanently.

Assuming the child was left for a genuine, not coping, reason and the parent recovers. Can they get their child back?

My heart goes out to these poor kids. Hopefully they’ll get homes where the families will actually love them no matter what.

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“The problem is that too many people that I’ve seen writing on this, and so many other topics is that they just complain without understanding the issue and without offering any better solutions.”

I for one, was not trying to complain without offering solutions. I came across this story on NPR, was shocked and horrified and wanted to help make people aware of what was going on. I offered no solutions, because I have none. I am not an expert in this area and am not sure what should be done. One thing I feel certain of is that the experts needed to come up with a solution, don’t reside in the Nebraskan state legislature. With that being said, I applaud them for fixing the original law yesterday and implementing the 30 day age limit.

I was just reading that Nebraska has 6,600 children in state custody and that is one of the highest per-capita in the country. One positive result of this whole thing is that it has shed some light on some huge problems in that state and probably across the nation.

Nor do I have any objection to people offering suggestions to how our government can do a better job. The problem is that too many people that I’ve seen writing on this, and so many other topics is that they just complain without understanding the issue and without offering any better solutions.

As it stands, I’m not sure that Nebraska got it wrong and the other 49 states have gotten it right. As you admit, the teens that have been dropped off, despite the emotional scars they have received are probably better of than if they hadn’t been.

Yes, there must be better ways, but we shouldn’t throw away a minor improvement because it is not perfect.

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I agree Aldon that society needs to deal with the bigger issues. Part of the problem revolves around the stigma around treatment for mental illness AND the lack of availability of treatment for lower income families. That being said, I don’t feel anonymously dropping off your troubled teen is the way we should deal with the problem. Additionally, I disagree that we should not criticize the government when they act with complete incompetence. 49 other states got it right and enacted the safe harbor laws with reasonable age limits. In the mean time 35 teens lives have been changed forever due to the Nebraska State Legislatures inability to decide on an age limit. They should be held accountable. Are the teens better off having been abandoned? Probably. Will they be permanently emotionally scarred having been through this ordeal. Most likely. At the end of the day, there has to be a better way way to deal with families in these types of situations.

Today’s LA Times has an article saying that the loop hole has been closed. You can only drop off babies under 30 days old. While I wish everyone who had a baby wanted to keep it, we live in a world where that is not the case, and making it possible for mothers to give birth and give the baby away instead of abandoning or aborting the baby seems to me like a good idea.

Beyond that, the LA Times talks about the story of one mother who abandoned her five year old.

“First, Cowburn’s 5-year-old child tried to bash in a baby’s head with a hammer. Then he set the shower curtain on fire. The next day he plugged all the sinks and toilets in their apartment and flooded the place.

Cowburn and her husband had tried unsuccessfully to get their insurance company to pay for mental health treatment for the boy. The difficulty she had keeping him under control had already helped drive her to attempt suicide last year. Now she felt she had only one option: She flew with her child to Nebraska last week and tearfully left him there.”

There are many children born with difficulties we cannot imagine. I’ve followed the case of Erin Markes, who was arrested for child abuse because her child with lissencephaly was not gaining as much weight as a normal child would. This made national news, with Nancy Grace ranting about the case, until medical professionals stepped in and pointed out the Erin had actually done a great job trying to take care of a child with a horrible birth defect.

How quick we all are to condemn people struggling through incredibly difficult times.

No, we shouldn’t be ranting about parents that in their frustration feel that the best thing they can do is abandon their children. Instead, we need to be finding ways to help everyone in difficult situations make the best choices possible for their children.

End of rant

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