12 Things I Learned From Breaking My Arm

I wanted to give you an update on my broken arm and pass on some really important things I have learned over the past several weeks. If you want to read about how I mangled my arm, check it out here. First, I am doing well. Getting better everyday. I have been off of the pain meds for several days. I started with Oxicodone and ended up on a Morphine derivative. What a crazy trip it’s been! Kidding. Well sort of, I did have trouble constructing basic sentences and understanding conversations, among other things. Scary stuff! I am going to see my Orthopedist today for a new X-ray and cast. I am keeping my [left] fingers crossed that all is going well and I will not require surgery. Also, I want to thank everyone who has contacted me and wished me well. It is much appreciated.

Right On!

So, I guess you’re wondering why I look like the poster child for ‘Power to the People’. This is at my doctors insistence. Really, I am supposed to walk around like that. It keeps the swelling down, he tells me. My daughter won’t go anywhere with me! She says, “I’ll go, but you have to keep your arm down!” I agree, then as we are walking in the store, I will slowly raise it into position. “Funny Dad, PUT IT DOWN!” she whispers. I smile and oblige, wait a few minutes, and raise it again.

On With It!

First and foremost, I have developed a sincere respect and empathy with people who have physical disabilities. Seriously. You have no idea how difficult the simplest tasks become until you have to do without one of your limbs. Everyday is a challenge and I am struggling with the most basic undertakings. Second, I have learned to deal with the pain and helplessness with a positive attitude. I have tried to stay light-hearted and not let my situation get me down. And third, it takes hours to peck out these posts with my left index finger. AND so without further delay:

12 Things I Have Learned From My Broken Arm

1. Brushing your teeth with your “wrong” hand can be dangerous

I continually stab the roof of my mouth and jaw bone. I went to the Dentist last week and was told the inside of my mouth looks like a war zone.

2. In order to heal properly, the Doc would like me to hold my arm in the motorcycle, right hand turn position. (pictured above) And yes, I know it’s done with your left hand.

This is extremely difficult. But I am told is necessary to reduce the swelling.

3. It is nearly impossible to button pants with your left hand only.

At first I would lie on my back on the bed, try to grip the right pant flap between my right index and middle fingers and pull the left side over and catch the button. Next, I would call out “Honey?” Now, I just stand there with both arms raised over my head while my wife tries her best to finagle my clothes on. Bless her heart.

4. In regards to using the restroom, there must be an art to one handed zipper operation and I’m no artist.
5. I am helpless at the diner table and my wife must feed me.

I can’t cut, separate or in any way manipulate my food. Every night my wife asks me if I would like a BIG spoon. To which I reply, “NO!!!” I have no eye to left hand coordination.

6. It is extremely difficult to type and use a mouse at the same time, with the same hand.

I am staying up nights trying to dream up a device that will hold down the CTRL key while allowing me to operate the mouse. All you EC addicts know what I’m talking about.

7. After two weeks of heavy duty narcotics, you begin to believe you might be a Jedi.

I tried repeatedly to levitate and pull the TV remote from across the room.

8. I need my wife’s assistance in the shower and that isn’t so bad.

Self explanatory. After getting out of the shower the other day, I said, “Helping me in the shower isn’t so bad, you could continue this even after I recover.” To which she put her hand on her hip, tilted her head and gave me the ‘Yeah, right’ look. Oh well, it never hurts to ask.

9. Body parts were not meant to go weeks without a good cleaning.

I have tried baby powder, baking soda, cologne and Fabreeze. I can’t get the stick out fromunda my cast. Gross!

10. My left-handed writing looks like that of a drunk 6 year old.
11. There are still genuinely kind people in this world.

I have had complete strangers opening doors, offering to carry my groceries and asking if I’m doing okay. They like crawled out of the woodwork when I broke my arm. No kidding. It kind of makes me want to cover my cast with a big jacket. Go to the grocery store. AND find mister nice guy who last week held the door open and said, “I hope you are feeling better soon”. Who today, cuts me off, forcing my cart into a huge wine bottle display while yelling “a-hole!”. Yeah, it will be nice when things are back to normal.

12. It IS possible to gain 10 lbs in one week.

If you are heavily sedated for a solid week, lying in your recliner chair, admiring the artistic landscape of the ceiling plaster, YOU CAN AND WILL GAIN 10 lbs. Who knew?

So, that is it! I’m sure I learnt something else, but I just can’t peck anymore! I would like to thank my family, especially my wife. Everyone has been extremely helpful and just plain great! I couldn’t have gotten through this without them.

Tagged as: broken arm • Family • jedi • morphine • oxicodone • positive attitude