They Love Ice Cream…And Each Other

Posted by John in July 3rd, 2008

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Guest Post

When given another chance to write a guest post for John’s blog, I jumped at it. Not only do I respect his writing, I appreciate the ideas he writes about as well. Which is why I’m happy to share with you this post about marriage. Thanks, John, for the opportunity. - ssgreylord

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” (Friedrich Nietzsche)

They were sitting outside of the ice cream parlor. She was eating a vanilla cone, he, a chocolate. So simple. Simple as the two of them, the wrinkles on their faces telling a story of many happy memories.

She was in her late 70s. He, a few years older. When the husband dribbled a bit of his chocolate ice cream on his chin, she leaned forward with a napkin and delicately wiped it away.

Their ice cream was interrupted by smiles and the holding of hands. They were so content.

They were friends.

I smiled at the image of them. They’re happiness stood out like an elephant in a tea shop.

And then I wondered. How did they make it to this married place still so in love and obviously fulfilled.

Had I been able to ask them, I believe they would have come up with the following attributes:

1.) friendship
2.) sense of humor
3.) forgiveness
4.) selflessness

The list of traits goes on as long as the Mississippi river. But my guess is that they would narrow it down to these 4 characteristics.

Friendship is an obvious one. Who wouldn’t want to stick around a long time with a good friend. Lovers are important. But that is easy. Do you also value your spouse as your friend?

A sense of humor is crucial. It deflates the stressful moments like a helium balloon running out of air. If you have the ability to laugh at yourself most importantly and your spouse too, so many prideful conflicts can be avoided. When was the last time you laughed with your spouse?

Forgiveness. The unhappy ones are they who hold on to grudges and refuse to forgive. It is as though they think this somehow gives them points that they can collect and use against their spouse to one up them in martyrdom. Do you possess the ability to forgive or are you a martyr?

Finally, selflessness. One of the crucial qualities that binds a marriage together like paper and glue. If one is selfless in a marriage, one can never be accused of coming from the wrong place. If one places the other above themselves as most important in their relationship the other will trust and love in a way that cannot be matched. DO you possess the ability to be selfless?

The couple stood up from their chair. His first inclination was to reach for her hand. She smiled up at him as though he were her hero.

I smiled at the picture of the two of them and hoped my own marriage would continue to be as peaceful.

I would like to thank Sarah for guest blogging here on EzGreatLife. If you have not already discovered her blog, My Life as it Was, Is, and Will Be, you need to go check it out! I have become a regular reader and you will too!

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